1st Epistle to X

A conversation with a medical colleague resulted in this "Ask the Rabbi" e-mail exchange. This also became the impetus for this blog. A few names and phrases have been deleted or *'ed out to protect anonymity*. There may be some who will recognize me from encounters they've had with me where this has all come up. So be it. Some slight proof editing has been done for this publication. The word 'goyim' is used here in it's literal sense, 'nations' or gentiles (non-Jews), with no pejorative intent.
Rabbi Mair ben-Baruch ha-Cohen


In a message dated 2/15/05 11:43:38, *******@***.com writes:

Hope your shift went well. It can certainly be a struggle!

Interesting talking with you. Getting back to the theme of our conversation: There are 2 people I work with who are "VERY CHRISTIAN", if you know what I mean. Very dogmatic, very outspoken. It's very hard working with them. They talk religion all of the time, saying what the Bible says, what you have to do (and not to do) to get to heaven. What you have to believe in to get there. If you don't...you go to hell because there is only ONE way to get to heaven...etc. etc. etc. They don't even listen to my side...they just give me that smile that says "She's so wrong...poor thing". I ran into this problem at my other job, too.... Seems I just can't find the right words to say...I try to just be silent, not to justify myself, but, sometimes I just can't! The 2 of them, (they don't work at the same time with me) even put on Christian music or tune onto Christian TV, and, sometimes, during group they even pray with the patients......

Can you give me some feedback? what to do or say .....!?

Hey, thanks!

*****



*****-
Sorry this took so long. I'm a pretty poor correspondent.

NO ONE should ram their personal faith down another's throat. That's one of the reasons we're currently engaged in a World War. But stubborn jackasses will persist. You will have found that many people in this neck of the woods have never knowingly met a Jew. Some can NOT conceive of the very idea of non-Christians. Educating these people is how I became *********'s 'Rabbi to the goyim', and a lay chaplain.

Your best defense is YOUR personal faith:
Torah is pretty straightforward, no matter what other rabbis may tell you. It is the story and rulebook for the brit between G-d & the people Israel. If you believe this and follow the mitzvot as best as you absolutely can, you're practicing Judaism. If you don't believe in Torah, you're not. Obviously, there are the eternal questions of ethnicity vs. religion, and where you fit in is deeply personal, and ultimately between G-d and oneself.
You should never have to justify your faith to others. You can explain it to them, and they probably won't listen. If you're secure in your own beliefs, it becomes much easier to just smile & nod at the fanatics.

Your best ammunition is knowledge:
There are weekly Torah readings. If you do these at shul or at home, after a year you'll have read the whole thing. After many years, you'll know a lot of it by heart. Read all the other books of the Tanach ("Old Testament" to the goyim) and you'll be even better informed. Share this knowledge if asked. Some people will welcome a Jewish perspective on Torah and religion. Be prepared for the many who won't.

At work:
Sorry, Dear- you're just plain f**ked. Most of the facilities in this area are founded by or supported by Christian groups. The mission statements often mention "Christian values". At ****** Hospital I was asked to sign off on a copy of such a mission statement. The HR director was surprised when I said "no". I told her to read it carefully. Haven't heard another word about it.
Most of the patient base around here is also Christian. That said, staff SHOULD ask clients if religious media, prayer, etc. is OK with them. ESPECIALLY in Psych, where religious obsessions & delusions become a therapeutic issue.
You will not get your coworkers to stop. They have an unshakable belief in their own righteousness. Try telling them, "we have different beliefs; theologically they are 180 degrees apart; and I would prefer not to discuss religion with you". This probably won't work, from your description. You can talk to management, and raise the points I mention above, about therapeutic issues & patient consent. Have your resume updated before the meeting.

I hope I haven't been too discouraging. We ARE a minority here, and have to muddle through. It doesn't mean denying or diminishing your life and heritage. It just means living as you are as best you can. This simple idea alone, that you choose to continue as a Jew, will piss off a great many people. Hey, if they can't take a joke.....

(deleted) have a good friend who is involved with a group called "***********". They are VERY Orthodox, but daily deal with the issues you raise. If you wish, I can forward your address & letter to them, as well. In the meantime, I'd be happy to continue this discussion with you.

Regards,
M

*Update-
Additional editing done to further obscure identities, so as to piss off the fewest number of people.